Who Does What How A Rabbi and Marriage Counselor Approaches Dividing Chores With His Wife

Who Does What How A Rabbi and Marriage Counselor Approaches Dividing Chores With His Wife For most of human history, the way we talk about household labor teilens has rotated largely around heteronormative gender roles. Thankfully, the idea that gender should determine the who does what of housework is (mostly) no longer the world we live in. But theres still no rule book for helping lebensabschnittsgefhrtes figure out how to divvy up household chores the physical, mental, and emotional ones in a way thats fair and equitable.So, what does the division of household chores for modern couples look like, really? In FGBs Who Does What series, we asked readers to complete an exercise in order to share with us the amount and nature of housework they actually do, and how they and their mann an ihrer seite decided to divvy it all up.--Name Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, Co-founder of The Marriage Restoration Project with his wife, RivkaLocation Baltimore, MDRelationship status MarriedWhat type of ho me (e.g, condo, house) do you have? HouseDo you have any kids or pets? Yes, 5 kids--How long have you and your freund been together?17 yearsHow long have you been living together?17 yearsWhat chores do you do daily, and how did you and your partner decide youd be the one to do them? Please describe.I make the kids lunches and usually dinner and clean the kitchen. I also do laundry.What chores do you do weekly and/or monthly, and how did you and your partner decide youd be the one to do them? Please describe.I usually do most of the cooking for our weekly Sabbath meals. Its like a weekly Thanksgiving so its a lot of cooking. I came into the marriage knowing how to cook, so it was easier for me. I am also very organized and efficient in the kitchen, so it is easier for my wife when I cook.How about your partner? What chores do they do daily, and how did they and/or you decide theyd do them?She does carpool and laundry, sweeping, straightening up and decluttering.What chores does you r partner do weekly and/or monthly, and how did they and/or you decide theyd do them?She does grocery shopping, as she is out and about more than I am.Is the way you and your partner divide tasks similar to the household you grew up in? Why or why not?My wife used to declutter a lot growing up but had nothing to do with the kitchen. While I cooked a little bit growing up, my father would work long hours so I really did not see him doing any household chores at all. Its still a stretch for me, as I have certain expectations of what my wife should be doing based on what I saw my mother do at home.Whats something you and your partner could improve on when divvying up and completing household tasks? Whats something you feel youre doing well?My wife says she could do a better job pitching in. ur house is organized and neat and looks nice. We both like a certain standard and get it done.We have learned through trial and error over the years. A 50/50 split is not always realistic. We prefe r to focus on our strengths and do what we are best and most efficient at. While we both do some of the others jobs, we try to be flexible and do what needs to be done to manage our household. This is especially necessary if you have small kids. You have to learn how to roll with the flow and not get caught up on whats supposed to be and just focus on what needs to be done.Lightning Round1. Who makes the bed?Rivka does, but not right away2. When you go out to eat, who picks the restaurant and/or makes the reservation?We both do3. Who makes doctors appointments? Dentist appointments?Rivka does for the kids4. Who picks up the dry cleaning?I do5. Who keeps track of friends and family members birthdays?Rivka6. Who pays bills? (Or if you divvy this up, who pays which bills?)I do7. When something in the house/apartment is broken, who makes aya it gets fixed?We both do8. Who makes sure the tags on your cars are up-to-date?Me9. Who vacuums?Mostly Rivka10. Who was the last partie to dust som ething?Rivka11. Who was the last person to clean your toilet?Rivka12. Who buys groceries?Rivka13. Who brings in the mail?I do14. Who irons?I do15. Who was the last person to clean out the fridge/pantry of expired items?Rivka16. Youve been invited to a wedding. Who RSVPs?Shlomo17. When planning a trip, who books the flights? The hotels?Rivka18. Who planned what you did last Friday night?I did19. Who planned your last date night?I do20. You need a gift for a friends housewarming party. Who buys it?Rivka21. Who goes to parent-teacher conferences?We both do22. When you need a babysitter, who is the one to book and communicate with them?Rivka23. Your child(ren) has a half-day at school. Who handles this, and how?We both pick them up depending on schedule24. Who takes your child(ren) to their extracurricular activities? (If you divvy this up, who goes to what activity?)We both do25. Who planned the last birthday party for a child?Rivka26. Who took your child(ren) to get a vaccination last ?Rivka27. Your child acted out. Who will discipline them, generally?Rivka28. Your child needs a haircut. Who notices this, and who makes the appointment? Who takes them to the appointment?I take the boys. Rivka does the girls.29. Your child is about to outgrow their shoes. Who notices this, and who takes them to the shoe store?Rivka30. The last time you got a call from the school nurse that your child was sick, what did you and your partner do?We picked them up from school.31. During weekends and vacations, who considers the childrens needs for entertainment, meals and their schedule (in general)?Rivka--Interested in participating in FGBs Who Does What series? Email infofairygodboss.com with Who Does What in the subject line.

Writing a Resume for Research Position Exposed

Writing a Resume for Research Position Exposed Learn as much as possible in regards to the position youre applying for and the geschftlicher umgang that is offering it. To begin with, you can examine the job posting that the business creating to determine just what is necessary for the position. Tips You could possibly be writing a company resume because youre competing with similar companies for continuing project work. Find out more about the company where youre applying. You might be a student or a recent graduate, but employers will nonetheless expect professionalism in your private statement. Search for a job for a market researcher Next, you should look for a job doing market research. In light of the above mentioned example, if youre targeting the sales job, you will be asked to write more regarding your communication skillsthe presentations, speeches, etc. you have given before. If youre applying for work in the exact industry, mention professional associations youre a member of or conferences you have attended to remain current on new ideas in the business. Writing the ideal research assistant resume objective or summary can be challenging. If youre applying for a number of positions, it helps to maintain a master document on your computer so that you can copy and paste sections of it as required. It can be challenging to remember all the appropriate information if you attempting to assemble an academic curriculum vitae at the previous moment before putting in an application for a position. Help on writing your resume can be discovered on the Monster Career-Advice site. What Everybody Dislikes About Writing a Resume for Research Position and Why The secret to writing a cover letter for a job you have not done is to concentrate on your transferable skills. Also include things like proof of how much youre committed to another job. It might be difficult to pinpoint just how you qualify for a different job because your duties can fluctua te. An excellent editing job will take a small longerand some particular tactics intended to catch resume errors. If youve worked as an independent grant writer, list yourself as a freelancer and include the dates that youre freelancing your expert services. Resumes may be used for a number of reasons, but most often theyre utilized to secure new employment.

2014 Staffing Industry Trend Report [Whitepaper] - Spark Hire

2014 Staffing Industry Trend Report Whitepaper - Spark HireInnovations in recruiting technology are being made everyday and its important that staffing professionals acknowledge them so as to improve hiring results for their clients. The recently launched Spark Hire whitepaper entitled, The 2014 Staffing Industry Trend Report, encourages staffing professionals to anticipate future trends and embrace cutting edge recruiting technology in order to stay ahead of competitors and beat them out to talented candidates.We launched this whitepaper to share with staffing companies how crucial it is for them to acknowledge the developments in the industry, especially in regards to technology, says Josh Tolan, CEO of Spark Hire. Doing so will allow them to connect faster with skilled and talented job candidates and, thus, provide better results for their clients.Staffing professionals will also learn from this whitepaper how to save time and streamline their hiring process, which is necessary in an industry with increasing competition. Video interviews, for example, are the next best thing when it comes to digitally connecting to the best candidates on a personal level. Six out of 10 companies are currently utilizing video interviews in their hiring process. Furthermore, one-way video interviews will continue the trend of replacing inefficient phone screens.Its forecasted that the trends of using big data and mobile recruitment, among others discussed in the whitepaper, will continue to grow in popularity by the day. Big data recruiting practices appeal to staffing professionals due to their ability to crunch large volumes of data faster than ever before and resolve the information overload issue of talented job candidates applying for positions. Staffing professionals can easily weed through piles of information in order to find candidates with the skills and abilities their clients need. Additionally, mobile recruitment is on the rise so as to cater to and connect with t he audience of smartphone users who are constantly on their mobile devices.These trends need to be taken advantage of by staffing professionals, says Tolan. Utilizing video interviewing, social media, and other technologies will bring a multitude of benefits for them and their clients.Download the new whitepaper, The 2014 Staffing Industry Trend Report, from Spark Hire to learn more about the advancements staffing companies should expect in the near future.

How to be resilient when times get tough

How to be resilient when times get toughHow to be resilient when times get toughAs proof that weve become a society of wimps, take this into consideration new research confirms that when we run out of legitimate threats to face, we begin to call things that we judged to be harmless in the past as now a threat.The study was undertaken in an effort to understand how legitimate victims of violence have been marginalized so that wimps can use the ja genau violence to describe any time they feel uncomfortable.Remember the old days when trauma meant someone had been genuinely hurt, often so severely they could no longer function? Now an unpleasant encounter, an aggressive look, or an offensive word can hurl wimps into such a conundrum that they need to seek out a safe place where they can simper until they have the strength to face the real world.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraIn an effort to be kind to these crybabies, researchers refer to the malady that affects certain segments of ur population as concept creep. The more comfortable a society becomes, the more small indiscretions and aufgabes are morphed into huge obstacles in ur mind.Shit happens. Life is hard. Pain is inevitable. Growth is optional- LaRae QuyMost of our emotions, like gratitude and compassion, can be developed when things are going good. To develop resilience, however, you need to get knocked down, and more than once. Over time, the more times youre knocked down, the easier it becomes to climb back onto your feet because each time you do, you become stronger, smarter, and less afraid to get knocked down again.Resilient people dont become successful in spite of their trauma they become successful because of it. None of us look forward to trauma in our life, but its a fact of life. Pretending that it wont happen is bedrngnis a practical approach.Most of us live through at least five or six t raumatic events in our lifetime- we lose someone we love, get divorced, lose a job, experience a serious illness- the list goes on. If we survive these events, we come out stronger and wiser.Trauma does not have to destroy us. Studies show that 90% of people who experience a traumatic event also experience at least one form of personal growth in the following months and years if they have the right mindset.Attitude is that little thing that makes all the difference- Winston ChurchillThe key is to approach challenges and obstacles in ways that will grow resilience. Here are 5 ways to be resilient when times get tough1. Pay Attention To Negative EmotionsTheres so much emphasis on happiness these days that its skewered our understanding of life in the real world. Were told we need to learn how to increase positive emotions and decrease negative ones. Positive thinking is a cornerstone of mental toughness, but its not a free pass to bury our head in the sand about the crap that shows up in life so we can pretend it doesnt exist.Resilient people realize negative emotions are completely normal and healthy, so they pay attention to them. The problem isnt that we experience them the problem rears its ugly head when were taught to suppress them or avoid them at all cost.Remember, negative emotions surface for a reason. All emotions can be useful the key is to regulate them so you can choose the situations which are more beneficial to youDont fool yourself into thinking that if you suppress negative emotions youre emotionally healthy. You can wear an emotional diaper and hope things will clean up by themselves, but guess what? When you fight a feeling, it only gets stronger. Scientific studies show that the key is to form a positive framework around the negative emotion.How To Make It Work For You Its not always possible to turn away from disturbing or unfavorable situations but dont ignore negative emotions in hopes theyll go away. To counter them its important to 1) a cknowledge the emotion, and 2) name it for what it is even if its unflattering- especially if its unflattering. Keep it to a couple of words, though, because if you enter into a dialogue about the negative emotion, you give it the opportunity to take root and become even more powerful.2. Dont Stop Because It Hurts A LittleMillions of dollars are spent on self-help books, therapists, and drugs in an attempt to outrun adversity and the pain that comes with it. Heads up, folks- pain is part of the menschengerecht condition and the sooner you embrace this fact of life, the more content youll be.Resilience is a akin to a muscle. You can sit on your butt all day, watch TV, and eat potato chips. Or, you can exercise, strengthen your bones, and improve circulation. Our brain works in much the same way so its your choice to either take the steps to build a strong mind, or let it decay into a pity puddle where youre too precious to be inconvenienced by something as mundane as pain.Did I menti on wimps?Every decision you make in life comes down to this are you willing to embrace the pain that comes with the pursuit of things that matter to you? The pursuit of happiness is the active avoidance of growth and maturity. Its childish to believe self-righteous bullshit that justifies your temper tantrums and rage because the world is not perfect- as you see it.Dont be afraid of your fears. Theyre not there to scare you. Theyre there to let you know that something is worth it C. JoyBell C.How To Make It Work For You Dont avoid pain instead, manage your response to it. Be a graceful and strong beacon for how to navigate the depths of your emotions with success. The pain that travels with adversity will produce virtues like bravery, integrity, and humility. Since pain is a universal truth, be smart enough to learn and grow from lifes experiences. All that is required of you is to discover the value and meaning behind it.3. Success Is Not For The Faint-HeartedOur culture glorifies frailty. Psychiatrist Steven Wolin suggests that theres an entire industry that turns people into victims by having them dwell on the traumas in their life rather than grow stronger from them.Resilience is not the ability to escape unscathed. Resilient people have the scars of warfare. They struggle like everyone else.Neuroscience research shows theres only one real way to deal with fear you need to face it, head on. As an FBI agent, I was taught to think Im scared, but I can learn from this. It will make me stronger.Lets get one thing straight- everyone feels uncomfortable when they move toward the threat or obstacle in front of them, but its one of the most effective ways to build both resilience and confidence.Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom- Viktor E. FranklHow To Make It Work For You Name your fear. Your ability to experience and describe your emotions with a high level of accuracy is indicative of how you can leverage them. Being fearless doesnt mean eliminating fear it means you know how to manage it.4. Question The CatastropheWhen we dont get our way, whether it be an election or a promotion, many of us spiral into a sense of catastrophe. Were overcome with a sense of hopelessness. We exaggerate the effect of something negative in our life and imagine our entire life is about to fall apart.If we dont question the catastrophe, we give our imagination permission to expect the worst possible outcome in a situation. While its smart to be aware of possible negative outcomes, when we assume the worst will happen we set ourselves up for unnecessary stress.The catastrophic thoughts themselves arent the real problem its that if were not careful, we can really buy into them. When we do, we experience these thoughts as facts. If we allow ourselves to believe our thoughts are true, we get caught up in them and are no longer present to life in the her e and now.Bam We throw resilience out the window, roll over, and play victim.Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win- Sun TzuHow To Make It Work For You Catastrophizing is simply letting our negative thoughts take control. Instead, observe the negative thoughts as they come, and as they go. Each time you acknowledge a negative thought, and exercise control over it, you develop resilience. It takes courage to look inwardly into the darkest part of your personality. We all contain bits of light and dark we all contain bits of gold and lead.5. Put A Different Label On Your SituationOften, we can be more resilient if we simply reframe our situation. Emotions like anger and fear are both freighted with energy so, rather than express them in a negative way, channel them into a more positive one. Is it a lump of coal, or is it a diamond in the making?It takes skill to manage our emotions and we get better at it with tim e and practice. The same goes for the way we relabel our situation. If we let the energy from our emotions decide our actions, we wont always cultivate behavior that will best serve us.How To Make It Work For You Research in neuroplasticity has shown us that we can literally re-wire our brain and be more resilient when we change the way we think about a challenge. When we simply put different optics on our situation, we can change the way we think about it.This article first appeared on LaraeQuy.com

Job Interview Question How Do You Stay Organized

Job Interview Question How Do You Stay OrganizedJob Interview Question How Do You Stay OrganizedIf youve been job searching, no matter what the role is, youve probably binnenseen the line excellent organizational skills or can juggle multiple projects at once. With this being a key skill needed for so many jobs, a common interview question is, How do you stay organized?Here are some tips to answer this question the best way possible and stand out as a stellar candidate for the position1. You have a specific systemEveryone has some type of structure in which they complete their daily to-dos. It doesnt have to be complicated, actually the simpler the better. Think about how you accomplished your tasks this week. Did you review everything at the beginning of the week and prioritize? Do you prioritize by deadline or how important a task is? Do you use Evernote to plan your week, or do you like to write and color-code everything on a master calendar? Articulate your system in a few senten ces that show you have a thoughtful way of keeping all of your responsibilities in order.ExampleI keep track of everything using Google Calendar. I like to fill out big projects on the monthly view, then at the start of every week I like to plan what needs to be done. At the end of every day, I see what I accomplished and add any new tasks that popped up during the day.2. Your system is flexibleInterviewers like that youre able to stay organized even when something unexpected happens. Even if they dont specifically ask how your organizational system is flexible, you should still include that you arent stuck if an unanticipated task is thrown your way.ExampleBecause I review what I need to do at the end of every day, Im able to re-prioritize quickly if Im given a new urgent task during the day.3. Give an example of your system in actionThe way you stand out with this question is giving a specific example in your career where you put your system to work, something unexpected came up a nd you were able to handle it well. Having a particular time when you had to use your organization skills will show that youre confident in your abilities and will impress the person interviewing you.ExampleWhen I worked at ACME Software I had to organize all of the logistics for a conference at the end of the month. I had all of the deadlines planned out on Google Calendar. Two weeks before the conference, we had to do a rush order 1,000 more brochures for one of our products. Since I welches on time with all of the other responsibilities for the conference it was easy for me to order the extra 1,000 brochures without neglecting my other tasks.Like all answers to interview questions, try to be concise while still being as detailed as possible. Since you prepared for the question, youll be more likely to answer it confidently and with ease. Just take the time to figure out your system and an example, and the delivery will be a piece of cake.

Land the Job With These 4 Executive Summary Tips

Land the Job With These 4 Executive Summary TipsLand the Job With These 4 Executive Summary TipsYouve heard the job search aphorism that a recruiter only spends five seconds on average scanning a resume before deciding if a candidate moves forward or bedrngnis. Besides having a polished resume, what else do you need to improve your chances? An executive summary.An executive summary on your resume is similar to your highlight reel or what you would write on your LinkedIn profile summary. Its a concise couple of sentences that highlight your special skills and accomplishments positioned at the top of your resume. So when a recruiter does their five-second scan, theyll have a clear picture of who you are and why youre a good fit for the position and the company.How is an executive summary different from an objective statement? An objective statement is a line on your resume explaining the type of role youre searching for and what youre looking for in a job. It is considered outdated by todays recruiters because it focuses on what the candidate wants for themselves, not the value they can bring to the company. An executive summary is different because it sums up your professional achievements and skills into a value proposition on how you can contribute to the company.Here are some dos and donts on creating the executive summary that will land you an interviewDO use a few keywords from the job descriptionA lot of resumes submitted through a companys website go through a computer scan, which is the first test before getting into a recruiters hands. Fit keywords into your summary as organically as possible, but dont overdo it. Copying and pasting every skill from the job description may get you past a computer, but once an actual human scans it theyll snuff out your copy-and-paste game and immediately dump your resume into the recycle bin. DONT be vagueLike the rest of your resume, being vague in your executive summary will only make you look like you havent accompli shed anything. A recruiter wants to find a good fit with the qualities listed in the job listing, but you still want to make yourself stand out with an interesting fact or accomplishment. Avoid overly-used phrases such as results-driven and extremely organized. Instead of results-driven, use an example such as, Ambitious sales associate who exceeded quarterly goals by 50% for the past year.DO keep it shortA quality executive summary can be expressed in three to five sentences. Think of it as the 30-second elevator pitch on your resumeexcept its written and you only have five seconds. It should highlight what makes you a good fit but also pulls the recruiter in so they want to read the whole resume and eventually call you in for an interview. DONT be boring Depending on the role youre applying for, be creative with how you present your executive summary. If youre looking for a konzept role, you would want to present your summary in the most visually appealing way possible. If youre s earching for a role where you need to be more conservative with resume layout, such as financial services, use vivid details that will paint the image you want to present of yourself. Research different executive summary samples online. Take your favorite aspects and verbiage from different ones and create an executive summary that makes most sense for you and the type of job you want.

The Best Font Styles and Size for Email

The Best Font Styles and Size for EmailThe Best Font Styles and Size for EmailWhat you write in your email glaubenszeugniss is the most important thing. But you might be surprised how much your font style and size matters as well. Its important to select afontthat is clean, uncluttered, and easy to read. You dont need to settle for the default font in your email program. But at the same time, youll want to stay away from novelty fonts - such as ones that look like handwriting - which can make your email appear unprofessional. Using the right font is an unobtrusive choice that can help your message get through. Get tips to help you make the right choices. Select the Right Font Size Make your font large enough so that the reader doesnt have to squint to read the message, but bedrngnis so large that the reader has to scroll too far to read the entire message. Depending on how long your text is, a 10-point or12-point fontsize is optimal. Yes, the recipient can change the font size in the email, but you shouldnt force them to do that. The Best Font Styles for Email Stick to the classics. Familiar fonts like Arial, Verdana, Calibri, and Times New Roman all work well. You may find that your program uses one of these as the default font. If not, they will be among the choices available in the program. Remember that different email programs have different displays, and an unusual font that works well in your program may be tough to read or even strangely formatted in another program. Avoid fancy fonts that look like handwriting or script fonts, and any novelty font such as Comic Sans. You may find it attractive but the recipient may find it hideous, unreadable, or both. No matter which font you choose, be consistent throughout the message in both style and size. Switching between Arial and Times New Roman, or among type sizes, is jarring for readers. Selecting a Font No matter which email program you use, you can usually select a font and a font size for y our message in either of these two ways After you create a new message, select the font style and font size you want from the options available in the program. Font style and font size will be displayed among other options in a strip of clickable icons at the top or bottom of the message box. Click on the font style icon, and then click on your choice on the list that pops up. Then do the same for the font size.Create the message and enter your text. Then highlight the entire text, and click on your selections for font style and font size. There are plenty of other options in that strip of icons, and for the purposes of business email, you probably want to ignore them all. Italicized text and boldface text are unnecessary flourishes in business communications. Playing with background colors or text colors will make you look like you have too much time on your hands. The Right Spacing for Messages Using spaces properly also makes your message more readable. Add a line of space a fter the greeting, a line between each paragraph, and lines before and after the signature on your message. Having this white space makes it easier for readers to absorb text. (Another funkfernsprecher way to introduce white space and make your email easy to scan and read is to use bullet points to break up long paragraphs.) Heres how tospace your email message. Test Your Email Once you find a font style and size that you think looks good, proofread it. Then send a copy to yourself and proofread it again. Once youre sure youve made the right selections, you can start using your new email font. What About Your Signature? Although in general you want to use one font consistently throughout your email, it is acceptable to have your signature appear in a different font style and size. Often, signatures include the persons name in a larger font size, and potentially bolded as well. Get more advice on how to set up a professional email signature, including what to include in your signature - and what to leave off.